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Author Topic: will Tosker ever be accepted?  (Read 3650 times)

Offline Liz

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #19 on: October 04, 2009, 23:37:52 PM »
I think it does take time for cats to accept an interloper - a couple of ours have jsut noticed there is movement in the guest ensuite and Beijing had to come and visit them to try their food and Jet and Turbo for Dreamies they totally ignored Aztec and maya and only wanted Mummy treats much to the newbies hissing!

Ours pretty much accept after awhile most things but it does take time - Blue hissed at everybody and now aftera year is best friends with Ace - just what I need to best mates totally unhandlanble!

You could try Zylkene or Rescue remedy and see if that helps failing that time and love will win the day
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Offline Janeyk

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #18 on: October 04, 2009, 19:14:06 PM »
I think you'll get there in time Trigger it just may take a while  :)
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Offline Bazsmum

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #17 on: October 04, 2009, 18:33:50 PM »
Now I like the sound of that! It must be so good when he allows you to touch him!  :Luv2: :hug:
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Offline Kay and Penny

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #16 on: October 04, 2009, 18:29:29 PM »
Trigger and Tiffany let Tosker share my bed today, although he was wise enough to keep his distance

and he let me have a good scratch of his head and ears, which he clearly loved

but I don't understand why occasionally he will let me have a rub and a stroke, and yet most of the time any attempt to touch him has him shooting off - I think it helps if I catch him without an easy escape, so he freezes instead of running away, and then finds he likes being touched
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Offline Millys Mum

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #15 on: October 04, 2009, 18:05:45 PM »
5 weeks is still early days so dont worry yet. If hes that desperate for a friend could one thats known to be equally cat loving move in with him?
When Simon first arrived here i couldnt touch him, i had to move him around with a shoelace  :rofl:  it was George he instantly loved and he learnt from him how to be a grown up cat in a house :Luv2:
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Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #14 on: October 04, 2009, 01:43:33 AM »
This all sounds like Misa and Sasa and Sasa and Franta.

Franta would just love to be Sasas friend but she hates him.

I cant touch Sasa but she loves Misa and him her. They dont snuggle together but Sasa seems to look up to Misa and wants him to go outside with her or come and play, he often ignores her pleading, which is sad,

When she went missing it was Misa who brought her home again.

The brothers birman used to cudddle together on the bed but when ducha had an op , franta stopped all of this and would not go near him for weeks and it took a lot of head butting by Ducha for Franta to even get near to Ducha again. This has lasted for about 18 months until recently and once again I occasionally see Franta part lying on Ducha, who looks around as if to say, well he is my brother  :hug:

Intercat politics are very interesting  ;D
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Offline Bazsmum

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #13 on: October 04, 2009, 01:13:44 AM »
You know you wanna!  :naughty: ;) :hug:
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Offline Bazsmum

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #12 on: October 04, 2009, 00:37:48 AM »
Oo! Just remembered cos Im a crazy kinda gal....Sometimes I pick Gizzy up and let Blackie have a good old sniff of his butt!  :evillaugh:

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Offline Bazsmum

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #11 on: October 04, 2009, 00:30:26 AM »
....And when Blackie went missing a short while ago if it were not for his love of Gizzy I alone would of never of got him in!  ;)

He is younger and possibly looks up to Trigger being the obvious Alpha male.....Dont fret about what may or may not happen in the future, I dont honestly think he is showing signs of depression, just wanting acceptance which in the animal world is what would happen naturally....  :hug:



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Offline Kay and Penny

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #10 on: October 04, 2009, 00:24:14 AM »
he's seen Trigger and Tiffany having loads of fuss - but I notice when I am with them his eyes are fixed on them and not me :(

I know his best bet for a bit of loving is me, but he is pining after them - but if he had not longed to be accepted by them I doubt whether I would ever have persuaded him indoors in the first place
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Offline Bazsmum

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #9 on: October 04, 2009, 00:19:17 AM »
But you love him already Trigger, his persistance will pay off one day I am sure, he will wear Trigger down eventually!  ;) :hug: :hug:

Always look on the bright side....and there is one you know, remember how you felt when you were unsure you would ever see him again after he first arrived, well just look how far he has came....He still has a waryness about him that I am sure the others will sense, once the fear factor is out of the situation there will be even more suprises instore!  ;) :hug: :hug:

Does Trigger let you hug him? If so keep being affectionate to him in front of Tosker and that will show him that your not that scary after all!  :Luv2: :hug:
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Offline Kay and Penny

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #8 on: October 04, 2009, 00:11:21 AM »
Tosker would love to get that close to Trigger and Tiffany - though until I've got on top of his ear mites I wouldn't be too keen!

if he crept up to them while they were asleep he might stand a chance, but he stalks them crying his head off all the time - 'please love me' is all he is asking, but I'm afraid the answer is always  :censored: off :'(
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Offline Bazsmum

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2009, 00:07:08 AM »
I have just found the pic of Sagey Boy snuggling up to Blackie and Blackie looking very amused! (not!)  :evillaugh:


[attachment deleted by admin]
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Offline Bazsmum

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #6 on: October 03, 2009, 23:26:02 PM »
In your situation I honestly dont know Trigger, Tosker is much more daring than Blackie ever would be....Blackie has never laid on my bed!  :(

There is a lot of households with cats that never bond but still get on well....I know if my Sagey Boy had anything to do with it Blackie would be his best pal but Blackie is not interested in him!  :Dont know:

Still 5 weeks is really far to early to tell! Bet you just wish you could dress up as Trigger and give him a cuddle for now instead!  :Luv2: :hug:
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Offline Kay and Penny

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #5 on: October 03, 2009, 23:09:04 PM »
is the usual pattern then for any initial aggression to subside and tolerance take over - but no out and out bonding take place?

my situation is the other way than yours, BM, as Tosker is the youngest by some years
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Offline Bazsmum

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #4 on: October 03, 2009, 22:55:29 PM »
Same thing has happened with my Blackie Trigger, he absolutely adores Gizzy and  totally shadows his every move but Gizzy just tolerates him!  :(

It would of been so much easier if Blackie had of been younger when they had met..... :tired:

I too feel sorry for Blackie on this score, but then I have to think how his life was to what its like now and that helps me silly soft emotions cope!  ;) :hug: :hug:
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Offline bonnielass

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2009, 22:36:26 PM »
Ive had little Mika here for 6 weeks now and my lot  have accepted her into the family  except for Kali (they actually hate each other ) and cant be in the same room unless im there, the rest just ignore her apart from the kittens but the hissing and growling is now gone thank goodness  ;) and a truce has been called for the time being anyway ;)
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Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2009, 22:29:06 PM »
5 weeks is nothing but it would be so lovely if they would be nice to him rather than just tollerating him.

Afraid the birmans are tollerated and thats a vast improvemnet ion the first 9 oinths when there was open warfare!

Misa will lie on the desk where Franta is because its his desk but he is not above walking or dropping his huge body on top of Franta to try to get him to move!
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Offline Kay and Penny

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will Tosker ever be accepted?
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2009, 22:25:05 PM »
Tosker has been living in the house for five weeks now, and Trigger and Tiffany are no nearer accepting him than on the first day he decided to come in out of the cold

Trigger just avoids him, and will not stay in the same room as him, though he never hisses, and outside will sit fairly near him - Tiffany hisses if he gets in her  way, though she will share a room

he longs to be friendly with them - keeps following them, which doesn't help his cause, and chirrups when he sees them - I am tolerated but he is not interested in my attentions

will this situation continue indefinitely? or will they come round to his presence? it isn't a big problem for me, but I do feel so sorry for him :( 
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Robert A. Heinlein:
How you behave toward cats here below determines your status in Heaven.
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