Author Topic: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on  (Read 3281 times)

Offline Millys Mum

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Re: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #15 on: March 14, 2009, 19:11:54 PM »
No more advice until we see more pictures!  :evillaugh:

4 weeks is often enough for a domestic to settle in but nervy ex feral types need longer to bond to you and the house or they may be off. Personally i wouldnt let them out until i felt i had some kind of importance to them, that could be 2 months down the line or 8!

Let them come to you and you will be rewarded  ;D


Offline Bazsmum

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Re: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2009, 14:15:17 PM »
Its over 2 yrs with my ex-feral "Blackie" I am allowed to stroke him (when he wants) he will go for the OH!!!

Time is definately the way to go.....remember you are huge compared so I would start by being an ornament sat near to them, try not to make eye contact too much and if you do then slowly blink at them as this shows you are not a threat....yawning is good also!

Food is brilliant and feathers on a stick allow contact without scratches!

It will all be worth it in the end!  ;) :hug:

Offline Janeyk

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Re: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2009, 13:36:57 PM »
As the others have said all cats are different and for some it can take time, our Schui who we recently lost (you can read about him on Rainbow Bridge) lashed out for the first few years for no apparent reason, he just really kept himself to himself.  Surprisingly he eventually become the most loving cat we have had and will always be remembered for that.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2009, 13:37:54 PM by janeyk »
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Offline Rosella moggy

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Re: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2009, 13:18:52 PM »
.... and then there's our Billy Whiz so named coz he just whizzes off if anyone approaches him.  He arrived 3 years ago and still can't pick him up without a huge palava.  He does however get jealous if another furry is getting a nice stroke or being groomed and he's a head butting nuisance in a pitch black bedroom when, on a good night, he will roll over on his back for a tummy rub.  Was a very gradual process over the 3 year period but like everyone has said, each little step was a lovely reward and ignoring him worked wonders.  Lots of play time helped a great deal too.

Whatever you do about letting Malkin out, make sure she is hungry. I assume Paddock will not be going out until she's had her op so she should be pretty well settled in by then.


Offline Pinkbear (Julie)

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Re: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2009, 23:37:35 PM »
They do have very long memories, you know. And no one told them they were being rehomed. They are probably still fitting it all together in their minds.  :)

On one farm I was dealing with, we took several bigger kittens in the hope of taming them. We did try hard to engage with them but we realised we were causing them trauma and getting nowhere in terms of taming them. After 4 weeks, because there had been no progress whatsoever and more urgent cases needed to come in, we decided to get them neutered and take them back to the farm - where they would be cared for properly - to see if they appeared more relaxed with a view to letting them go. No soon as I opened the carrier, they trotted out and went straight to their feeding station in the barn without so much as a 'see ya, thanks for all the help!'.  :tired: So you can see, 4 weeks is nothing in terms of building a relationship with a cat.  :innocent:

Offline psychopunk

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Re: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #10 on: March 13, 2009, 18:52:37 PM »
Believe me - anything is possible, you just need time! Our kitten Pips has just started to come and sleep on our laps, he's now 8 months old, but we've had him since he was 8 weeks old. Our ex stray Cuscus who adopted us is also becoming more friendly day by day. He used to be such a grumpy cat, if you touched him he would turn his back and go away, but now he even sleeps on our bed at night. Both of them open up a bit more every day and makes me so very very happy!  :Luv2:  You'll see yourself...

Offline Liz

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Re: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #9 on: March 13, 2009, 16:44:18 PM »
One month is early days and they seem to be at least playing with you in the room which is a good sign.

I wouldn't be letting them out just yet I would wait for a good few months till they start to trust you more and feel more relaxed about the whole new human slave thing

We have found that treats and cold meat are good bribing mechanisms to start them coming closer to you and associating you with nice things (vets visits are a whole other story)

We speak from experience as we have 43 cats sharing our lives with their pets our 3 dogs

We have ferals - a majority including our colony from our old house and they have now been inside only for 3 years - the majority watched us from a distance and now at least come in to the same room as us and will take treats but no stroking them but they interact with the domestic and pedigree cats and the dogs are will play and take treats - some will take the odd stroke but some won't tolerate it

I also have ferals who are no different to my domestic crew and have indoor/outdoor privilages butthis has taken time to ensure they come home every night and again some only come in a particular window or door but all are in at night

Take it slowly and they will reward you with their bravery to seek you out more and more beleive me the first purr is worth the wait - Clio now aged 9 took 3 years to seek me out - her brother meanwhile took 6 years to share the same room as me but adores my husband!

Good luck and the first plus point thing will banish any fears afterall time is what we have to give they have to learn that not humans are scarey :hug:
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Offline Stuart

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Re: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #8 on: March 13, 2009, 15:32:10 PM »
one month  :-:  still very early days yet Rachel  :hug:

give them time, and their true colours will start to shine through  :Luv:

btw ignoring them  is Excellent advice  ;)

a cat will walk into a room full of people, the cat will choose the person who is sitting still (usually that person doesn't like cat's  :evillaugh:)
because everyone else is trying to make a fuss, they are ignored by puss ( cant remember where I read that, but it is true )
« Last Edit: March 13, 2009, 15:38:58 PM by Stuart (Misty's Dad) »
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Offline Kay and Penny

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Re: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #7 on: March 13, 2009, 14:44:10 PM »
It isn't only feral cats, or ones with baggage who are difficult to socialize. I had a Russian Blue kitten before Trigger, who never came to me, or showed much affection. He spent all day outside with a neighbour's 5 cats, and at night, when I closed the cat flap, he would sit for hours perched up high on a partially open window. before eventually retreating to the top of the wardrobe.

He wasn't timid or nervous - he just had no interest in being indoors with a person. He came to me at 13 weeks direct from his breeder, so it was not as if he had learned not to distrust humans. I was just unlucky with him, I suppose.

These two are reacting to you, even if not in the way you want at the moment. I can see how frustrating it is, but the rewards, when they do start to come round, are going to be that much greater. The important thing, I think, is to keep to a routine and avoid any major traumas with them (or what they would see as a major trauma). If they got startled outside they might run off. But I guess this is something you will have to risk eventually. Can you make part of your garden cat proof, temporarily?
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Offline Rachel_East_London

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Re: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2009, 14:40:28 PM »
thanks all for reassurance and suggestions. At present I am working on my home PC and the cats are playing in a large cardboard box I placed in the middle of the room. So at least they are nearby.

One specific question though - we were going to let them out in the back garden after a month, given the situation do you think this is still a good idea or should we wait?

Offline dabs

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Re: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2009, 14:27:55 PM »
As everyone says, things will improve. It takes months if not years and cats like to feel they are in control, let them come to you or they will start to resent you. I have in a little foster girl that was 12 months od when picked up from a farm. 6 months on will now relax while we are around instead of hding under the settee and will let john tickle her ears and sits next to him on the settee when she thinks that there is something nice. A totally different character with me, will only let me near her when I have put food down for her. Any other time she just retreats. I had to pick her up the other day as she got upstairs with an anti social foster of mine and she went berserk, even while scruffed.

So 6 months on we are getting there, but the message is don't push it, let the girls set the pace.
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Offline ginge66

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Re: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2009, 14:03:27 PM »
I totally understand what your going through at the moment its so very frustrating. About eighteen months ago we adopted two cats Leo and Larry, brothers who had lived wild as kittens and had been in a cattery for over a year as no one would adopt Larry because he was so antisocial and would hiss at any potential owners us included.

Anyway we decided to adopt them because having no children we decided it would be easier for them to settle in. I can clearly remember about a month after adopting them trying to tempt Larry with da birdie which resulted in him lashing out and hissing at me instead of the toy. That was my lowest point and I really wanted to open the door and let him out, hoping he would never come back, although the reality was i would have fretted and felt guilty if he had. The very same night he must have sensed he was on his last chance he decided that i wasn't so bad after all and let me stroke him, it really was wonderful and felt such an achievement.

Today Larry does his own thing and still runs away from me at times but always comes round when foods involved :naughty: we haven't had any hissy fits for quite sometime and i cant remember the last time he lashed out.

Leo absolutely loves my husband and follows him everywhere and even sleeps on the bed at night, he also loves to be fussed.

Please dont give up and eventually things will improve :hug: :hug:
« Last Edit: March 13, 2009, 14:05:14 PM by ginge66 »

Offline MrsR

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Re: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2009, 13:08:49 PM »
Our Freddy was quite vicious and took 6 months of hard work and Sofa who was sooooooooooo timid and scared took 6 months + to come round.

It is hard sometimes but keep going hun as Freddy is now a lap cat and Sofa (RIP) as a total lap cat.

Offline Topsy Turvey

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Re: Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2009, 12:50:03 PM »
Its still really early days.  I have rehomed kittens and cats between the ages of two and four and they all took a different amount of time to come round.  The trick is to sit near them but ignore them, read a book or listen to music or just chat away.  They will come to you when they are ready and understand that you are not a threat.

If you keep trying to stroke them, when they don't want you to then I'm afraid you will get scratched.  They will also be less inclined to come to you if you do this.

I know its frustrating because you love them but you need to let them come to you in their own time.

Smartie who we have had for nearly two and a half years now took approx 6 months to come to us for fusses.  She's now a real people cat - loves to be beside me and hubby.  She goes to anyone once she has met them a couple of times.

Hope this helps  :hug: :hug:
« Last Edit: March 13, 2009, 12:52:33 PM by Topsy Turvey »

Offline Rachel_East_London

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Unfriendly cats - 1 month on
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2009, 12:28:37 PM »
As some of you might remember we picked up our cats exactly 4 weeks' ago (Malkin, 18 months, and her daughter Paddock, 4 months). Happily the litter tray situation is good now.

But we are a bit at our wits end with them. We didn't expect lap cats, or to be followed around, and that's fine. But we still don't seem to be making much progress friendliness-wise. Malkin hardly ever purrs, and if you stroke her, she shies away most of the time (at best, she ignores you and carries on sleeping!). Paddock takes her lead from Malkin and although I have heard her purr, stroking her tends to lead to being scratched. I have painful scratches on my hands and so has OH. We say "No" or "Ow!" and ignore her for 10 minutes as per advice, but it doesn't really seem to have much effect as the same thing happens next time. They both tend to run away rather than coming towards us, except sometimes in the morning when they're hungry (and not always then).

Obviously they have had bad experiences in the past and they have lived feral. Are we being too impatient? And will it be okay to let them out, given that they don't seem to feel much affection for us?

thanks for any advice :)

Rachel

 


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