Thank you all
Have spoken with the vet. She says that she believes it a case of cardiomyopathy. Roughly translated that is sudden heart failure caused by a failed valve, an embolism, either, both, or something else. Major and normally only symptom in cats is sudden death. No previous symptoms, even though the condition was there and worsening over time. Dogs show prior symptoms. Cats normally don’t.
I knew it had to have been heart related. My ‘Baby Angus’ (his name was just Angus but he was a runt and so was always referred to as ‘Baby Angus’) died of congestive heart failure, also when relatively young. I kept him alive for a year and a half (and it was a good year and a half for him. He was not an invalid during that time. I would not have allowed that) through Lasix and love – and that was a year and a half longer than the vets thought he had. But his ultimate death signs were the same. That’s why I recognized them in her. It had to have been heart. But there was no prior failing in her. She was the picture of excellent feline health, vitality and happiness – and then, just like that, she died.
To have it come out of the blue with absolutely no warning whatever………… My being aches and cries as it would in other circumstances, but now also suffers from what can only be described as the shocking blow of a sudden bullet through the heart.
I have been awake all night, obviously. For the first hours I was literally in shock – just numb and disbelieving. Sadly, that has worn off now and now I hurt and ache and cry. It helps to be able to know what most likely happened. Not much, but a little.
She was one of those rare (to me) cats - an orange female. Most are males (and I understand the genetics of that). She had extra toes (hence the name "CLAWdette" - though that's what she came with from the Humane society. I saw no reason to change it. It suited. She was... well, once there was a cat named Ariadne........ softest of the softs. Mother of us all (though not one of us were ever her biological kittens). Clawdette was so much like my long gone Ariadne. So gentle. Loving. Unassuming. So much so - you would never know she was around. Except at night when she would haul each and every last one of her fuzzy toys up the stairs to bed, cooing at them as she went, to deposit them, and herself, in my bed.
She was too young to go, though I never honestly knew her age. But she could have been 100 and still have been too young to go.
I find it hard to find anything to be thankful of in any of this. But if I have to then I guess it would be that she went relatively quickly. They never go quickly. Cats fight and claw and scream against the darkness. But, at least, she didn't have the weeks, months and years others have suffered through.
They miss her too. They launched themselves off the bed as I did when she cried. They pounded on the door here to my study to come in when we were here and she was going. Somewhere long about 3ish I tossed myself into a tub of hot water. Edgar came into the bath with me. Hopped onto the edge (it's an old, lion's claw tub and so not stable footing for edge walking! Though they do it.) and then crawled down my shoulders onto my chest. Where he turned around, settled down facing me, tail in the water, and just sat and watched and purred, water lapping around him. Never had a bath with a cat before. Well, I have - but those were accidents on their parts and I have the scars..... He was upset.
Winston dug and dug to get in the door here then, finally, went upstairs. It is 13 hours later and he is just now coming down. Hasn't eaten. Didn;lt stay. Just came in. Toured. Left. He's upset.
They know.
We have lost a very precious family member.
May the gods keep you and yours safe until then. Because you can just never tell when one will be snatched away. Likely just as well, but still……. Be thankful.
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