Yes I understand completely and how the shouting really gets to you and gets you down...........I personally even now would not like to make them any more confused than they already are, however hard that is for the human. The only side to that would be, if something new and proven to work, came along.
I dont believe in pumping cats full of medication just to alleviate the human distress unless its safe for the cat, with no nasty side effects for them and has a track record of assisting.
Kocka deterioated quite quick in the end, possibly aided by my change of house which nothing could be done about and also the weather was so bad, against the weather both of us were used too. Cold and very windy all the time.
I think dementia is the hardest think to deal with in cats and of course in humans. Kocka was also ill with other problems which I dont think beautiful Carrie is so this makes things so hard.
I do hope that something can be found soon to help