Annoyed at my friend being a stereotypical "I want kittens" person-UPDATE!!!

[sixfurballs]

I was terrified of cats until I met hubby and his family and they were cat mad so had to get used to them. About 7 years ago hubby and I got our first cat together after buying our first house with a decent garden. We went to RSPCA which were the only rescue we knew about and they wouldn't rehome to us because we both worked.

So our first cats came from an ad in the local paper which I then stupidly didn't know was probably a back street breeder. Know better since and will NEVER do that again.

Next two were kittens from a farmer we knew with 2 feral mums who had kittens and he wanted homes for some of the kittens.

Then a foster from a friend of a friend of my parents whose cat had kittens before they got her spayed. He was with me for a few weeks before he went to a great home.

The next and last two were Heidi and Huxley who I adopted from Cats Protection.

Adoption is the best feeling ever. Knowing you have saved a cat and given them a second chance.

I've also adopted guinea pigs and just rehomed my first foster pair of guinea pigs. So in my own experience I'd say rescue every time. 

[Desley (booktigger)]

Not all my cats have come from rescues, even though all have been rescued. Only one of my first three did, the 4th did but not intentionally, and then I started fostering, although only kept 2 out of 64 (soon to be 3, but the rescues choice not mine), with 2 not come through the rescue since then. My first came cos her owner had died and her son threatened to microwave her if my neighbour (ex CP) didn't help, so she came here, I wasn't sure about getting a cat, I had only been living on my own for a couple of days, and wondering how things were going to work. She sadly died 9 weeks later, and i immediately went to CP (she had been at the vets poorly for 36 hours, and that was bad enough in the house by myself), my neighbour automatically took me to CP. Then I found out that Ginger was a stray, so went up to 2 cats, despite my inital thoughts a short while previously!! Dont think i have had less than 2 cats since, as I started to foster 2 years later, and between my own cats and fosters, think it is 70 in 5 years, so Charlie did something right!!

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I was a cat hater and then a little long haired blue cat walked into my garden and nothing I did would make her go away. She even broke into my house through a little window aboit 8 ft or mor from the f=ground even thought itr was only open a few inches.

She lived with me for 10 yrs coas she was already about 10 when she turned up.

When she went to the Bridge my first call was to CP and I gpt a pair of cats that had never known each other who are now vest friends. I had seen birmans at the Cat Show in London and talked to breedwers there but my vet said that my cat would hate to have another cat, even a kitten. Then after chatting on Cat Chat, two birmans needed a home but missed them and then another two who really needed a new home and they came to me .........so from 1 to 4 in about 6-7 months!

I would always go to a rescue unless I could not find any who would rehome to me but there are so many cats out there needing homes, I am sure there is oine for everybody .

[Mark]

The funny thing is, when I got Kylie, it didn't occur to me to go anywhere else other than CP. I can't remember the exact process as I had wanted a cat for years but a combination of living in a one-bed flat, being at work all day and going out 5 or 6 nights a week didn't really work. When I got bored with nightlife and bough a garden flat, it seemed the right time. I must have looked at stuff on the internet but really don't remember it even crossing my mind to look in freeads or pet shops. I had made up my mind, I wanted an adult,  so that's probably why.

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

I think once you get exposed to the world of cat rescues/shelters that's when you realise the importance of adopting... like me!

Very true.

When I got Jaffa and his brother Magpie, I rang a few rescues and asked tentatively about indoor cats (much less common in the UK 11 years ago than now) but most said they would not rehome kittens to an indoor home.  As I live near a busy road, and near a bend in the road, as well as in a flat, I knew letting them outside was probably a bad idea.  Eventually a work colleague took me to a rescue near her that didn't do home checks or ask too many questions so I was able to get two kittens and raise them as indoor cats.

I actually went wanting black and white kittens if they had them, not being too keen on gingers (yes I know - madness!) and not being particularly fond of long haired cats.  I came back with one ginger cat and one black and white long haired cat    They sort of chose me.

[tigerbaby]

OHs parents are similar, in the way that they have owned, loved, cared for and adored their cats for 20+ years, but never got them from a rescue. I don't think they know too much about it, but also they live on the countryside where they don't really have the problem (or, are exposed to the problem) of rescues being over crowded and cats being bred through BSBs for cash. They usually get kittens from a neighbour, or a relative. It's not that they wouldn't get a cat from a rescue, I guess they aren't really familiar or know anything about it really (apart from what I tell them).

They are no less cat lovers than anyone on here though, infact they are mad about cats and have always given each cat the best life they could get. Infact I don't think they planned each cat either, like many of us here the cat came to them

I think once you get exposed to the world of cat rescues/shelters that's when you realise the importance of adopting... like me!

I have a very similar problem with getting a cat from a rescue, what with living near a main road. I am going to have a look for a sister for Jameson tomorrow, and when I find the cat (or rather, when the cat chooses me there will be a home check, and maybe they will say no to rehoming him to our house, even though I can promise a much better place living with us than being cooped up in a cattery, and lots of safe surrounding gardens and shrublands behind our house, not to mention a warm place to sleep and a loving forever home.

I have heard so many stories about people going to shelters in the hope to adopt a cat/dog only to be turned away for whatever reasons (living too close to a main road/no garden) and then they look into getting their pet from a breeder... or a bsb!

Either way, each animal that is born into this world deserves to go to a good forever home, whether they are from a shelter or a bsb. Often animals from bsb's end up in shelters anyway, like my neighbours pets!!

It's always worth checking your local shelters before deciding, because chances are you will find your perfect kitty there - whatever your plans/ideas/visions were beforehands! Or as they say, you don't choose a cat, a cat chooses you.... it's SO true!!

[lilynmitz]

My first cat adopted me after living with neglectful neighbours, so I didn't have a choice (but it was mutual love at first sight).  When she went to the Bridge I wanted another adult female tabby, and ended up being chosen by a 6 mo old black male (after saying I didn't want a kitten - and I soon found out why! LOL) later joined by a very sick 3 yo female tabby, then when they also went to the bridge (cancer and RTA respectively, both aged 7) I gave up choosing in advance and just went for the cats who chose me. 

I basically wanted one or two healthy young adults with "personality", ended up with "6 yo" black and white moggy and an "8 yo"  female tabby, who had been in the rescue centre for TWO YEARS.  The black and white moggy was DESPERATE for a cuddle so did a good job of selling him and his litter mate to us, and the tabby female was deeply depressed, poor thing, but I just knew she'd come round ok.  Had a good feeling about both of them.

Found within an hour of getting them home that they were actually 8 and 10 years old, the 8 year old was almost completely blind and the 10 year old is hyperthyroid.  Was briefly horrified, then rather grief stricken as I had so wanted active independent and healthy cats who might be with me for a long time.  Then I realised what fab cats they are despite this, how thrilled they were to be out of that kennel, and there was NO WAY I was sending them back there.  I wish life could have been fairer to them, and I miss the company of lively active cats, but I love them to bits.  Even if I'd had them from youngsters they still would have ended up with these medical problems, and as I learned from my previous two, getting young cats is no guarantee they'll be with me for a long time. 

I'm glad to be their carer, and they give me lots of cuddles in return, and as they are self-imposed house cats, I get to see a lot more of them than an active cat.  While I may have preconceptions of the "perfect" cat, whatever that might be, I would still only ever go for adult rescue cats, and I still believe I should let them choose me, not the other way round, whatever the consequences.

[moiramassey]

This is a forum supporting cat rescue, so I realise that lots of members will have very strong views about prioritising rescue cats, particularly adult cats that are hard to home.

Until I started to read the posts on this forum, and on Catchat, I can honestly say I never considered going to a rescue to get a cat (I have owned cats for over 20 years). My friends and aquaintances all told me that the local cat rescues would refuse to let me adopt kittens because we both work. We live on a residential road and two of my previous cats  were killed outright in RTAs (14 years ago and 12 years ago). Last year, before I got my last two kittens, there were stories locally that the cat rescues would not home cats to people who lives on roads like ours unless they kept them indoors.

I was probably a female incarnation of 'that friend'.

Having become a member here and reading the posts, I have (a) realised that 'best practice' in cat ownership has moves on a lot in the last 20 years and (b) that perhaps I should at least have given my local cat rescues a chance!

In fact, what I did was exactly what everyone on here tells people never to do. I decided far too close to my two week 'staycation' that I wanted kittens (having lost two of my cats that year to cancer and old age). I ended up buying non-pedigree kittens (Siamese/Bengal cross, Egyptian Mau of dubious origin) from a breeder. And, oh, has it proven to be one of those guilty pleasures. They are now 10 months old and I adore them. I love the fact that Flynn has all the delightful characteristics of an Egyptian Mau. Mitzi, my Siamese/Bengal cross is as characterful as I would have predicted - intelligent and willful, loving and demanding. Out of the 7 cats I have owned before, only one has come close to being as delightful a companion as these two (Blacken, my 12 year old moggy).

So have you converted me? Maybe. I have learnt a lot. I kept my kittens indoors until after they were spayed and neutered. I even spent a fortune catproofing my garden - I didn't even realise that you could do that before finding these websites.

But will I go to a rescue to get my next cats? Will I be willing to take a cat rather than kittens? Maybe, while before I would have said no. Maybe a compromise, a Siamese cat from a rescue?

So keep going all of you. If you can persuade me to change my mind this much in less than a year, goodness knows what I will think by the time I am looking for another cat!

[Desley (booktigger)]

That is good.

[Mojo]

Got a text last night, my friend is now the proud owner of Logan- A BACK & WHITE male cat and McCoy- BLACK male cat 

Just goes to show you cant resist a kitten no matter what colour they are ha ha.

[Dawn F]

its hard, my friendship with the person who refused to pay for meds because of the cost then got a new mini for her birthday has cooled to say the least!

[Mojo]

I will try and be there as much as poss, but only for the kitties involved. 

[tiga]

I had a similar experience with someone who works at the horse rescue where I volunteer. She actually went and bought a kitten that was 4 weeks old. My head nearly exploded when she told me. Some people are just really selfish and thoughtless!! You can only say and do so much - and then make sure you are there when they get tired of it.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I think you are right, this is starting to sound like a novelty thing that will wear off.

Reckon he should go and get a cute little robot he can play with.

[Dawn F]

your friends, a pain in the ............

they obviously aren't going to be the type who go to the rescue and get picked by the cat

[Mojo]

Dawn F-Eh?

[Dawn F]

they do sound a bit painful!

[Mojo]

GRRRRRRR!!!! Just had a message from my friend slating the particular Rescue place they have gone to saying they keep "letting them down" to which i replied that all  rescues are very busy at the moment and that if a more urgent case comes up they will deal with that first. Then I stated that they dont get paid for this. He said that "For me" he had turned down an old lady with two kittens for sale.

I then sent another message stating that if they are going to be having these cats for ten plus years then surely waiting a few weeks makes no difference?

He has this minute responded with "Yes I want one now" 

I am this close to sending him a message saying if thats the case perhaps he is not a suitable owner and if he wants a toy or plaything he should go to the shop and buy a flippin stuffed one. I AM FUMING!!!!!!!

[Indys Mamma]

I got Indy as a kitten as he was born in the garage, also sorta have Mabel, his mum but she lives in garage and just comes into the back porch for her tea.

When I get another housecat (Indy isn't allowed outside) then I will be looking for a young cat but only so they are a similar age to Indy. Probably want a girl as well so higher fitting with Indy.

[Topsy Turvey]

Some pedigrees maybe highly strung but most have no problems with moggies.

My birmans are just plain snooty cos they rhink they are smarter than everyone else and nobody lets them get away with it 

The thing was that she would'nt even come and see Summer at home so that she could find out if she was highly strung which she isn't.  She is a really laid back cat.  She took to the kitten (Skye) and Smartie straight away.  We didn't have any problems introducting them to her when we got them (two months apart).  Brought the carriers home with us - let them sniff though the holes.  Summer was interested straight away and with both new arrivals started licking their paws.  Let them out the practically straight away and been best friends ever since.  Never been any agression from any of them.  They share (or nick) each others food bowls, litter trays, beds etc.  Was really upset at the time because a rescue kittie could have had a lovely new home and best friend.

[Angeladeedah]

   What?!! That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.  That poor cat! 

[Mark]

The craziest story I heard was a couple of years ago a woman advertised her cat for rehoming as it didn't go with her new sofa - she wanted to get a new cream cat 

[Desley (booktigger)]

i dont agree that picking on colour is like racism, if people look on the internet for cats, as more are doing, the main thing you have to go on is their picture, and you can't judge their character off that, and the same with some of the large rescues, it is their appearance that comes across first, not their personality. I have had fosters that have changed personality after being rehomed - Benjy is a prime example, he was different here to RAchel's, and even more so a week in his new home, he is doing things that we never thought he had in him, and between us, he spent 2 months in our care, and in a home environment. I personally wouldnt choose to have a black and white, unless there was that something about them, same wtih torties - but as I foster, i take any colours, and do have one of each in at the moment - the 2 pure blacks do get the most fusses though, but that is due to temperament.

[Canterbury_cats (Sharon)]

I have to say everyone who ring me about kittens i give them a reality check about the mess and rescources, money and keeping them in. Esp during when rehoming during the summer months, busy households leave windows and doors open.. Only those people that have been given the lecture and are still keen do we move forward on kittens, although i generally dont rehome one single kitten to full time workng people.. I have managed to change some of those kittens calls into rehoming adult cats after spending at least 20 minutes on teh phone with the.. They soon get round the thinking that actually life would be much easier...This week i think i have converted at least three calls that enquired about kittens to at least go and see adult cats.. On lady in particular was adament the cat i was onto her about was too young for her family.. She is now looking at a 9month old spayed female called Opal...Its hard work spending time talking to those people but it has paid off... What made my day yesterday is a lovely bloke who has recently split up with his girlfriend, this couple took on our bAZ (maybe some of your may remember him, ginger boy with broken jaw refused to eat afer this trauma) and he wants the most needy cats in our care.. So roll in Wendy and Tibby...

I had the sentence "yes but i want them to grow up with my kiddies!" Personalities of cats dont fully appear until they are mature enought to be neutered i say.. Kirstys kitten siblings that we have Apollo and Memphis have changed completely since they were kittens... now out and about ..So yes get a kitten but it may turn into a right little monster when it growns up abit and its not been unheard of for abit of a curfuffle between cats and kittens that used to get on, dont when they get older.

[The Duchess]

Just to say that I lurve  Clapton's gummy smile he always looks so relaxed even though he hasn't been well

when we got Cosmo & Jessie, we didn't care what colour or sex we got as long as they were healthy although we did want younger cats rather than older (sorry  ) - I also spent over a year thinking, reading up and finding out which rescue to get them from.  As they're only just 2 yrs old, I don't want to even think about replacing them if one/other goes to the bridge

even OH loves our ginger muffins and he would never have described himself as a cat lover but me 'n' the fuzzballs ground him down eventually

[Angeladeedah]

I didn't have preference over sex, age of kitten or colour - all I had decided was that I wanted 2 young kittens and that was it.   None of the rescues could help me but a friend knew someone who's cat was about to have kittens so I got 2 of hers.   I got to gl down and pick the 2 I wanted from 5.   I picked the 2 that seemed to spend the most time together - didn't even know what sex they were.

I'd heard since then that Edinburgh Dog and Cat Home will tell callers that they have no kittens in the hope that people will go down anyway and go away with an older cat - unfortunately I didn't even bother going down so some kittens may have missed out the opportunity of a new home by them being like that.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Some pedigrees maybe highly strung but most have no problems with moggies.

My birmans are just plain snooty cos they rhink they are smarter than everyone else and nobody lets them get away with it 

[Millys Mum]

What really gets annoying is when you have fabulous black and black/white kittens with the most fantastic temperaments and people make excuses over them time and again, personality should be way higher on the list than colour, i think its not far off racism  so i agree with Mojos rant, if you have a shopping list of requirements go to the supermarket and pick the most perfect tomato you can find!

[Topsy Turvey]

When I lost my first cat Sasha (who was a persian and Summer's mam) two years ago I wanted to adopt a moggie to keep Summer company.  I contacted a couple of rescue centres in my area and was told that they don't rehome moggies with ped's as "ped's are too highly strung"!  Don't know whether any others who have ped's have had a similar experience but this meant that I had to get another ped or buy a kitten from a back street breeder.  I got Skye and then Smartie from the same lovely persian breeder that both Summer and Sasha came from.  It wasn't the fact that I wouldn't have a moggie but barriers were put in my way.

[Dawn F]

Like Desley I would never have chosen a torti but when on a visit to Star (we couldn't take her straight away as we had people staying in our spare room) a determined little torti kept jumping into oh arms and licking his face, we enquired about her but were told we couldn't have her because we already had a bengal and tortis and bengalies don't mix, as the next couple of weeks wore on and the torti kept on jumping on oh and kissing him it became apparent we had to have her, with no other home on the horizon they agreed - thats how our gorgeous Amber came to live with us and she really is the most loving and affectionate cat you could ever meet (and she loves her benglie sister!)

[LesleyW]

I had a lovely family who had Flint from me a couple of years ago (black and white kitten) and last September they contacted me saying they wanted to get him a companion but would like a tortoiseshell if I should get any in.

It was in February  when the next tortie came through the door so I contacted them to let them know I had a litter with two torties in it.

They came over to see them and spent some time in the "maternity" room with them.  Kochka (a little black and white boy) immediately sat on the son's lap for the next ten minutes purring his head off whilt the torties ran around, so they came to the conclusion that Kochka had chosen them and he was the kitten for them - so it goes to show that people's minds can be changed even after a six month wait for the right kitten.

However, they phoned me the following day and said they would take one of his tortie sisters as well, so I managed to re-home two kittens to a wonderful home.

After waiting for their holidays to pass, both kitties went to their new home yesterday and I know they will be as spoilt as Flint is.

[Desley (booktigger)]

Some people do have fixed ideas, and it can be frustrating when people dont want to consider a young adult cos they want kittens, or they want a certain colour, but sometimes questions can help. We had someone who only wanted a female kitten, but after asking why, and reassuring them, they took a male kitten. I also can't blame people for not wanting cats of a similar colour to childhood cats, i know if I got a foster in looking very much like Ginger, it would be very hard. I also keep saying i am not having another pure white, and I wouldnt choose to own a tortie, but Zi is living her life out here, and a pure white would do the same. I am not that overkeen on black and whites either, but with fostering, you get what you get, and I rarely go and choose a cat from a rescue.

[Liz]

Sometimes they just pick you no matter what the colour

My first 2 were black Sweetie (now 17 and my soul cat) and her brother Toerag now at the bridge and that started my love affair with the black cat - still continuing with the late Bert, Inca, Diva, Cougar, Puma.

When Robin and I moved house before our wedding Toerag bought us home a feral tabby boy - One wrecked bathroom and Tiger moved in now aged 13 and no longer feral unless you are the vet taking a blood sample - he is diabetic now and then we adopted 2 more tabby ferals aged 11 months - no hum,an contact now our poppets Lima and Clio tokk 3 long years with them - in the interim Max and merlin became our first kittens together - bought a cat box on the way to pick up my Tuxedo twins then the multicolour rainbow of the Clan Cats stated we now have ginger, ginger and white, grey tabby, torties in 4 colours, we have our rescue ragdoll Minmin - a chocolate seale pointe and the Clan Cats posh Totty, we have white and black, grey, grey and white - long haired, shorthaired and the ones inbetween and I adore the black cats, Robin adores the tabbies and the ferals and we have more Black and white than any other colour - even the dogs are black and white!


I have to say I love them all and wouldn't swap my Rainbow family for anything in fact a new baby joins us tomorrow as a partner in crime for Beijing he is white with a couple of black smudges and is called Archie Magoo - his parents are ferals and he is the only survivor and nobody has shown any interest in him he is not this years colour but here at the Clan Cats he will be more than welcome and his colour doesn't matter!

[tigerbaby]

I think most people have an idea of what type of cat they want beforehands (ie tabby, b/w, diff breed, age etc), but when it really comes to crunch I think that idea goes flying outta the window
(a bit like us buying our home, we strictly looked for a 2 bedroom house, split level, with garage but when this house came along it was a one-floor, 1 bedroom house with garden but no garage, BUT it had our names on it!!)

As I said we didn't even plan to get a cat, Jameson moved in with us because he decided to do so, BUT our next cat (which we'll hopefully adopt in the next week or so) we want to be a young female, preferably black or black/white. I am curious to see what cat we will actually choose - once you're there it'll be impossible to be picky cos you'll want them all!!!!

Urgh my neighbour has got new pets again...this time 2 kittens!! Wonder how long they will last... she's never even there!! She just took them cos they were free! (got them from that site)

[JackSpratt]

Mojo, I know how you feel. When I took on Noni temporarily my cousin told me about a girl doing a course with her who was looking for a kitten. I asked for a little more information, and my cousin reported back she "only wanted a kitten around 9 weeks." Noni was aged at 18 months when I took her for a VN check, but after that attitude became apparant there was no way I'd have tried to enourage the woman to take Noni - she's too precious. Fate took her to the home she should be in, I'm pretty certain!

The first cat I got; Carrie, was five when I got her. I had initially see a kitten called Spitz in the shelter, but she didn't make it after a there was an outbreak of cat flu. They asked what I wanted to do and I said they still had other cats that needed a home, so I'd go and look. Carrie was clinging to the bars, crying. I knew then the cat I wanted was the one that wanted out the most! I never really considered her age I just knew something clicked with her.

[Hannikat]

I think I would definately consider getting an older cat next time around (hopefully not for a VERY long time). I think with them being my first I didn't want any nasty surprises / problems to deal with them just having them makes me nervous enough!

I agree Gill. I went out with a VERY fixed idea of what I wanted and fell in love despite this 

[tigerbaby]

Well, I didn't even plan getting a cat in the first place! 

[Gillian Harvey]

Well 12 yrs ago I went to a rescue centre wanting a totally white cat - came home with Harry, ginger and white LOL! When Suzie died I wanted another bluecream colourpoint, ended up with Gwynnie, a seal tabbypoint!

Mojo, I think once he visits a rescue centre he'll find himself thinking differently, hopefully he'll see past the colours and age and only notice the personalities shining through. 

(and look what a lovely cat he turned out to be!  )

thats a great picture - looks like he's laughing LOL!   

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Well I reda that after your cat goes to the Bridge it was best to get a different colour, so wanted a pair of cats about 2 yrs old.

Came a way with two cats who had never met before aged 4 and 6!  Both long haired and the first time they met was in the Cp car coming home in cages next to each other.

I only knew about one cat and didnt know about cat chat then.

All the 2 of them were intersted in was getting out of their cages.

When we got home the CP lady said lets open the  cages and see what happens!

So lucky cos this was the later that day, maybe next day 

[Kucinta]

I got my two indoor boys as kittens and they are now three years old, so I hope they will be with me for a long time to come.

However I have already decided that if there ever is a next time round, I would go for either an adult rescue cat that needed to be the only cat in the household, or an inseparable pair, as long as they were suited as house cats, as I live in a one bedroom flat and circumstances are unlikely to change.