Whereabouts in Essex are you, I'm in Essex too (Chelmsford).
Sorry couldnt resist in posting this email i had !
A major Hurricane (Shazza) measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the
early hours of Monday.
Epicentre: Chelmsford, Essex.
Victims were seen wandering around aimless muttering "faaaaackin ell"
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of memento's from the Balearics and Spanish
Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars
were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giro cheques
arrived.
Essex FM (County Radio Station) reported that hundreds of confused and
bewildered persons, were still trying to come to terms with the fact that
something interesting had happened in Chelmsford.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was
such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom
crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm, slept through it
all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning.
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny
Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still
searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal
belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos
and Bone China from Poundland.
>HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
sought after, items most needed include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals
Tins of baked beans
Ice cream
Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9
£5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those
affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in Claret "where are
you bleeding from?" they asked - "CHELMSFORD" said the girl, "woss that got to
do wiv it?"
Please help if you can?
