Strict Unbending Rules for Dealing with Stray Cats
1. Stray cats will not be fed
2. Stray cats will not be fed anything other than dry food
3. Stray cats will not be fed anything but dry food moistened with a little milk
4. Stray cats will not be fed anything but dry food moistened with a little milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence
6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with, picked up or cuddled unnecessarily
7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name
8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time
9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending with a 'y'
10. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up or sharpen their claws on the furniture
11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to sharpen their claws on the really good furniture
12. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen their claws on the new $114.99 sisal-rope cat scratching post with three perches
13. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outside in the sand
14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh 'n Sweet kitty litter
15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter tray with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room
16. Stray cats will sleep outside
17. Stray cats will sleep in the garage
18. Stray cats will sleep in the house, in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket
19. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Comfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow
20. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our beds
21. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our beds except at the foot
22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our beds under the covers
23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our beds under the covers except at the foot
24. Stray cats will not play on our desk
25. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer
26. Stray cats will not walk on the keyboard when the human is using it
27 Stray cats...........
(I expect you have all seen this before. Wish I could take credit for it but I can't. I just love it. Have gone that route all my life!)
