Topic: Phone call (Read 4500 times)

madkittyrescue · « **Reply #20 on:** February 17, 2008, 16:54:24 PM »

Personally if in doubt I always assume that there is a reason I have nagging doubts and opt for the 'No' response. I also don't like to deal with 3rd parties and much prefer to deal with the person who will be responsible for the cat.

I think you are right to be dubious Dawn. I'd say proceed with caution and if something is nagging at you... then stall them for a while while you suss things out more.

Rosella moggy · « **Reply #19 on:** February 17, 2008, 11:28:50 AM »

Hi Dawn. On the one hand, I'm a get another cat asap person, but it would have to be a cat that I've met and has met me of course. I think you need to speak with the daughter. TBH if she's so grief stricken that she can't arrange this for herself, I think it's too soon for her. In the past, I've left a message for a cat rescue to ring me back on my mobile but made it clear that I would ring them straight back. Just thought, I think I offered to ring you back when you rang my landline Dawn. It's appalling that people should expect cat rescue funds to be spent on increasing profits of mobile phone companies.

This sounds like an over protective mom trying to ease daughter's pain with no real thought for the cat. As for taking a cat with you at same time as home check, how are you supposed to decide which one without meeting the daughter and doing the home check?

Desley (booktigger) · « **Reply #18 on:** February 17, 2008, 10:00:57 AM »

That's the way we see it, but it does happen a lot. We had one woman who would ring up and ask to be rung back and put the phone down before you had chance to react - and if you didn't, she jsut rang and rang with just a 'can you ring me back' and put the phone down. I assume they do it cos they are low on credit. I dont mind ringing people back, but I do prefer landlines to mobiles, as I dont pay for landline calls.

Mark · « **Reply #17 on:** February 16, 2008, 20:32:58 PM »

Quote from: Desley (booktigger) on February 16, 2008, 19:16:42 PM

sounds very odd - but Mark, you would be surprised the amount of people who do expect you to ring them back on their mobile.

I do the CP phones on Thursdays and it's one thing to leave a message on the answerphone with a mobile number but to phone you and ask you to ring them back is completely different.

Maddiesmum · « **Reply #16 on:** February 16, 2008, 19:31:14 PM »

I think you are right to be cautious but not write it off without further exploration and the daughter's agreement that she wants another cat

Desley (booktigger) · « **Reply #15 on:** February 16, 2008, 19:16:42 PM »

sounds very odd - but Mark, you would be surprised the amount of people who do expect you to ring them back on their mobile. I am the kind of person who does get a new cat quite quickly, but I go myself and pick them, I would be dubious about someone being taken a cat, in case they dont bond.

gibraltarcat · « **Reply #14 on:** February 16, 2008, 16:35:13 PM »

Can't really add to what everyone has already said, but do wonder , like Pinkbear, if it was Mum that let cat out, as it all sounds very odd.
Think that you definitely need to talk to the daughter to get a clear picture of the situation. Difficult one this and will be very interested, Dawn, to hear the outcome.
I've always taken on another cat soon after loosing one. I love each one for themselves and all are irreplaceable, but I do understand that we all feel differently about the timing of a new furbaby.

JackSpratt · « **Reply #13 on:** February 15, 2008, 22:51:32 PM »

I think it's definately sensible to get more of the story before agreeing to rehome a cat. Everyone grieves differently - some people feel they need to have an animal to fuss over to help them move on while others feel it's a betrayal. (I'm the latter.

)

It really is up to the daughter to contact you I would think - after all, it's her that would be caring for the cat in question. And if she isn't even ready to talk to someone about rehoming a cat, is she really ready to take one on?

Stuart · « **Reply #12 on:** February 15, 2008, 21:29:11 PM »

haven't read through all the post's here, But IMO, sounds like the mother is trying to help her distraught Daughter by replacing her loss
I would be more interested in" if Her Daughter Really want's another Cat Right now" or is it her Mother that has decided this for her ???

For some people, getting another pet straight away Help's but for other's, they require time to Grieve

Dawn (DiddyDawn) · « **Reply #11 on:** February 15, 2008, 21:27:44 PM »

Another thing that got me thinking as well, the mum said she has garden cats, all have been strays etc that have turned up, I asked if her daughter could take one off her and she said no

I know how bad the daughter must feel, I know what I was like when Dylan died but I just don't feel comfortable with the idea. My other concern would be as well, if in trying to get a replacement, the new cat will suffer because of it if he/she didn't quite come up to scratch. I don't know, I'll give her a ring tomorrow and try and get her to leave it a few days before rushing out and getting another.

pappilon · « **Reply #10 on:** February 15, 2008, 21:15:44 PM »

Could be that she is in shock and not thinking whats right and just wants to replace the poor cat and think it makes it all right but then after a while realise it wasnt right !
I dont think is wrong to have another cat soon after loosing one but has to be for right reasons, when i lost my DD last year i was so sad and even desperate but not to have another cat cos i had Boy but cos i missed her and thinking if i give home to a cat then it makes it better but then my DD was pts and the way it was done as some of you know made it even harder to accept, eventhough i could have a cat right away from mayhew but i wanted to do it right and i kept lookig day and night that shows how desperate i was and in february i saw Jim on wood Green animal shelter and he did not look any thing like DD but was 17 and in rescue for 4 years and i thought i am doing the right thing now , it was only 5 weeks after DD was gone but it was right thing for me and Jim cos i loved him and he WAS NOT just a replacement.
Dawn i think its right that you are over cautious and i hope by you saying no the mother,SHE doesnt go to a different place and get a cat for her daughter, may be you can talk to her and ask her to leave it for a while and then get back to you!

blackcat · « **Reply #9 on:** February 15, 2008, 20:10:03 PM »

I agree Mark. Although I am completely on top of getting a new cat when you lose one (I find having something new to fuss over helps me get past the loss, sorry Ratie, each to their own). But a) mobile phone, b) drop it around - a cat, any cat, and c) mother calling on behalf of daughter and no sobbing daughter in background, as well as chopping and changing story all adds up to grounds for caution. Not refusal, mind, but certainly caution ...

Mark · « **Reply #8 on:** February 15, 2008, 20:07:20 PM »

It's just other weird things like you don't phone a charity and ask them to phone you back on a mobile number

I think it's one of those "you had to be there" things. You can pick up more than words

MBll · « **Reply #7 on:** February 15, 2008, 20:02:15 PM »

Sounds like they snap their fingers & you drop everything & run up with a cat, any cat.......no can do chum. No thought put into this easy come easy go type? I HATE this 'replacement' if the daughter droped dead would they run out & replace her.

When my last cats died it took me over 2 years before i even thought of getting another one I didnt run out & replace them. As this person cant even make up her mind wither the cat was an indoor or outdoor lied so far on the phone i wouldnt be quick to rehome anything to her.

Also if the cat is for the daughter then its up to her & her alone to think about getting another one.

Pinkbear (Julie) · « **Reply #6 on:** February 15, 2008, 19:48:59 PM »

I agree with Gill. It's often said the quickest way to recover from losing a pet is to get another one straight away. In practice, getting the right cat for them will take a while but it doesn't overcome the urge to start afresh with a new needy furbabe.

It could be that this Mum isn't telling you the whole facts - she may have been the one that left the door open for instance. But I wouldn't write this one off until I dug a bit deeper.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #5 on:** February 15, 2008, 19:27:32 PM »

afraid i was so upset when kocka died that i emailed cp the next day and aslo used a bluecross bereavement counsellor. i had 2 new cats 5 days later. i had no transport but was desperate foe another cat and was lucly cos cp came and collected me, drove me to the gowere to look and back after the home check. she then came and collected me again to go and see them and bring them home.

i would not write them off dawn, i would be worried about the road but loss of a cat does strange things to people and maybe she was finding it hard to explain on the phone.

Mark · « **Reply #4 on:** February 15, 2008, 19:15:06 PM »

Computer says no.

I think you already made your mind up Dawn

They sound very iffy. You can't replace a cat just like that

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blackcat · « **Reply #3 on:** February 15, 2008, 18:59:40 PM »

I was distraught when my cat was PTS but still managed to get to the rescue and make my own choice. I would be dubious about someone who was that emotional frankly ... maybe a bit hard, but that's the way I see it. If it is a case of 'a cat, any cat' then I think you are right to be cautious Dawn.

MrsR · « **Reply #2 on:** February 15, 2008, 18:57:28 PM »

No doesn't sound right at all does it.

Dawn (DiddyDawn) · « **Reply #1 on:** February 15, 2008, 18:56:29 PM »

Just had a lady on the phone, first thing she asked was could I phone her back on her mobile........reply no

Her daughters cat was killed last night on the road and now she wants another. She said she would pay anything if I would take one up there for her, her daughter is in shock and wants a replacement

Is it me or is this not a good reason to take on another furbabe? I know I want my homing but not like this. She said he was killed on the road, I told her my concern was rehoming to her and that one getting killed as well

She said this one would be indoor and then she changed her tune and said the other was indoor but got out

I've told her I would want to do a homecheck first anyway and she asked if I could take the cat/s with me at the same time, but this doesn't feel right somehow or am I being over cautious

Her daughter doesn't live with her but on a busy main road

Author Topic: Phone call (Read 4500 times)

MBll