Purrs In Our Hearts - Cat Forum UK
Cat General => General Cat Chat => Topic started by: Rona on April 25, 2007, 09:49:24 AM
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Excerpts from the Dog's diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am- A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am- A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am- Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm- Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm- Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm- Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm- Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm- Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm- Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm- Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
Excerpts from the Cat's Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. B*****ds!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so
he is safe...for now...
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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: i love it !
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Did you make that up or did you find it somewhere? I would love to use the cat one in my next newsletter, but may need a adapt a couple of words. ;D
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Iv seen that before, always makes me laugh!
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It was forwarded to me and I hadn't seen it before so thought some of you might not have either and would appreciate it! ;D
It also bears what appears to be a rather spooky resemblance to Thursday's life, judging by her expressions of barely concealed disgust at my attempts to interact with her and in response to offerings of cat food, rather than chicken >:(
I'm sure you can adapt it for use in your newsletter, Ela ....
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Thank you ;D
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I've had it emailed to me a couple of times. Still always makes me laugh! ;D