Purrs In Our Hearts - Cat Forum UK
Cat General => General Cat Chat => Topic started by: catalyst on January 20, 2009, 22:04:13 PM
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:( :(
My boyfriend and i split up before christmas. A week before christmas! Its not been a good past few weeks. We were living in a house that he bought and we have a dog and 2 cats. I had to move out and i need to find a flat in the city. I have looked and looked but i cant find a flat that takes animals within my budget. My now ex is having some life problems (depression) and can barely look after himself. His parents have my dog and the cats are still at the house. But my ex doesnt want to go near that house. Flynn (dog) is ok for now with parents, but eventually he will need to find a new place as he is a big bouncy lab and his parents cant handle him as they have another dog and his mum has joint issues.
The cats cant come with me and ex doesnt want them!! I so want to have all my animals around me. But i can not find a way!! I feel so so so guilty that i am even considering giving them to a rescue place. They are already so full. And the thought of someone else having them makes me ill. But im trying to think of them.
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I'm so sorry - you must be devastated.
Have you tried posting Flynn on Dog Pages? (http://www.dogpages.org.uk/ (http://www.dogpages.org.uk/)) Also, what area are you in? If you click on the area you're in on this map you'll get a list of rescues: http://www.catchat.org/adoption/index.html (http://www.catchat.org/adoption/index.html)
Can you let us know a little more about the two little ones you need to rehome?
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I am so so sorry :hug:
What area are you in? There may be some rescue members on here who may be able to point you in the right direction.
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I am in Edinburgh. I know where i need to give them in to. I know exactly what to do, i just need to do it. But i cant bring myself to do it :(
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another thing is, even if places you can afford say 'no pets' in the ad you can try asking them about the cats at least, even if you have to sign a contract specially geared to say that you will repair any damage by your cats orpay for their repair when you leave the property?
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Have you tried offering an extra bit of money on the bond to people letting flats? Seriously, sometimes that's what it takes. You said Milo had been an indoor cat before and Pagan looks very young (I looked at your previous posts) so maybe they would be OK as indoor only if that's another thing you're worried about.
I've said this on other threads; two out of the three rented properties I've lived in stated no pets. After I talked to representatives or the landlord they changed their minds. It's worth asking, surely?
EDIT: Sorry, Indys Mamma gave similiar advice!
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Have you tried approaching landlords, agencies in a different way?
Offer a little more on the deposit or even £10 per month more? it is difficult but it can be done, or you could just take a couple of the animals get moved in then ask to have the others? landlords tend to be more accomodating that way
Hope you get it sorted
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Yeah i could try that. The only thing is that i am really very skint. I graduated recently and i was relying on my OH for suporting me until i found a job. I have applied for every job imaginable. I am on the job seekers allowance. So choice of flat is very limited.
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Do you have any friends/family who could lend you enough to offer a larger deposit? Often it's just the fear of damage that puts landlords off accepting pets, and sometimes it's just a routine clause in the tenancy offered by agencies but the actual landlord has not stipulated no pets. So it's definitely worth asking specifically and seeing if offering an additional deposit would be sufficient to let you keep your furbabies with you. I hope you can work something out and keep them :hug:
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also contact your local council about housing, if considered an emergancy you may get something...
is your ex living in the house (the way you say he doesn't want to go near the house? I am not sure)
if he isn't maybe you can rent it from him? and on jobseekers you are eligable for housing benefits
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Yes the local council will take priority as your homeless, and i have lots of pets and living in council myself. Giving my pets up would make me sick too.
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Do you have any friends/family who could lend you enough to offer a larger deposit? Often it's just the fear of damage that puts landlords off accepting pets, and sometimes it's just a routine clause in the tenancy offered by agencies but the actual landlord has not stipulated no pets. So it's definitely worth asking specifically and seeing if offering an additional deposit would be sufficient to let you keep your furbabies with you. I hope you can work something out and keep them :hug:
This has made me hopful! Thing is i am not 100% destitute. I am staying with my sister just now and have a large graduate overdraft that i am willing to dip in to if needs be. I have actually found a flat with 2 girls that is huuuuge!! I have asked the agents to ask the owner about cats. Il find out on Friday!! Fingers crossed. I am not so good when it comes to having to break the rules as such. As in ask for somethng that isnt already put out there.
The thing with council housing is that there is usualy a large waiting list. Also i would feel guilty as its not like i am completely homeless. I have my sister and my parents live down south so if needs be i could go to them.
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fingers crossed for Friday!
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Sorry to hear about this honey. Good luck with the decision on Friday :hug:
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i had a word with one of the other flat mates and she said she isnt very keen to have cats as she feels they are messy. She said she wouldnt mind, so i need to convnce her that they are clean and dont smell. If it turns out that i can have cats and the flat mates are ok with it i need to make all attempt to make it clean and non smelly!!!
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I would definitely say to speak to the landlord, preferably in person, but through the other flatmates if need be. My flat was advertised as no pets but I asked the landlord nicely, signed an extra clause in the contract promising to have the carpets steam cleaned before we leave and that was that!
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Good luck. Could you let the housemate visit your home to let her see that the cats don't make it smell?
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(sorry but only just read this post)
I hope that you have managed to sort things out with the new landlord. If you do need any local cat related help then please get in touch.
fingers crossed :wish: :hug:
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keep my fingers crossing for you and your cats... :hug:
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With the council there is actually a homeless housing list, which is given priority over the rest, homeless people get homed first. And they would consider you homeless as you dont have your own home, even though you are living with your sister.
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Well the owner said i can have the cats in the flat!!! They are going to make a clause in the lease saying i am responsible for any damage they do. The flat mate iv spoken to said that its all fine and she is happy for them to stay. The other flat mate doesnt know yet so i stll have to wait for her. The flat mate i have spoken to said that she knows her and she should be ok with it but il wait and see.
So i am going ot need all the tips i can get to keep the flat clean as can be and to stop them clawing the furniture!!!!! :D
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that's brilliant news, hope the other flatmate is ok about it.
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You need to get the mack daddy of all scratching posts, if they haven't got a good vacuum cleaner which copes with pet hair get one, get those sticky roller thingies for soft furnishings and an enclosed litter tray with a super low odour cat litter (I'd recommend Cats Best OKO). If she really is quite fussy then do your best to keep most cat related things in your room.
Otherwise, good luck!
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Just caught up with this thread ... so pleased you are able to keep you babies. I'm sure your other flat mate (that thinks cats are messy!) probably just hasn't lived with cats before and once she meets your babies and they work their feline magic on her (which you know they will do) she will be won over.
:hug:
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Yesssss - :yayyy: I am so pleased for you. Definitely invest in a good scratchpost/activity centre. And purchase pet behave spray from Pets at Home and squirt things the cats aren't supposed to scratch. :)
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I used the Best Cat Litter in the World for ages and it was great but Milo especially likes to scrape at it so much it goes everywhere! He doesnt do it so much with the wood pellets. But i like the other kind for smells so i need to sort his tendancy to fling the cat litter about!
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A hooded tray would solve that one , an a good litter mat! :wow:
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A hooded tray would solve that one , an a good litter mat! :wow:
What she said!
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Why is there always someone who tries to bring you down!! I told my parents that i might be able to take the cats with me to the flat. Instead of saying, thats great and youl have company, they start on about how its such a bad idea.
They say that i wont be able to afford it, that they will be really messy and that il need to pay loads for damage, that the other flat mates wont like it, what if i need to go away, i cant expect the other girls to look after them when i am not there. What if i want to go away in the future, what will i do with them then.
They are just always so negative!! Through out this whole thing (splitting up with bf) they always kept on about how i cant do that or that and that i should do as they say as its best.
Sure im pushing it by moving into a flat. The rent is more and il have bills to pay. Sure i need to feed the cats. But i am not as stupid as they think i am. I am aware of the situation. I know how much money i have.
But i feel this is the right thing to do. I am a bit wary about having the cats. Mainly becuse its a rented flat, but its what i want and need. If it doesnt work out then i can consider rehoming again.
And they wonder why i then dont tell them things!
(sorry for rant :Crazy: )
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:P to your parents!
Whenever I've lived in rented places I've always got 100% of my deposit back so obviously my cats caused no more damage than allowable human wear and tear.
When you were living with your BF you'd have had to pay for the cats to go in the cattery when yu went away so there's no difference there. If you get on really well with your housemates they might look after them for you or you could offer to pay a small amount for them to feed them / clean the trays out which would be cheaper than a cat sitter or cattery.
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Your parents sound a bit like mine. I have been rescuing cats for approx 5 years now and they still don't understand.
You're not asking for their help, so in my view their concerns are for them, not you, to worry about. My parents do not understand my animals are part of my family. Just because I have alot of them doesn't mean they don't mean any less to me. Sounds like your parents do not know how much your cats mean to you and when you are going through the trial of life that you are at the moment, your cats are more precious than ever.
I am really pleased for you that you can take your cats with you and I am sure any problems encountered can be overcome. After all, you have already overcome the first hurdle of being able to take them there in the first place, everything else can be sorted as well. :Luv2:
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my parents have 2 dogs and 3 cats and they don't get how i feel about my animals either. my dad is always moaning that i can't go down and stay with them because i have so many cats. i wouldnt be able to if i had only one cat so what's the difference?
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Their reaction basically explains why you are not good at asking for things for yourself - you are so used to people challenging your ability to think for yourself - good on you for sorting this out and ignore the nay-sayers, they will only bring you down. I still get this from my sister and I am 54 years old - and it still makes me doubt myself - but then I remember I have managed to achieve a heck of a lot for someone who is apparently all that incompetent - You have too. Have graduated your fcourse, you have survived a relationship breakdown and you have had the initiative to go out and seek support from people who can help you. You are more than capable of making your own decisions - so just let them get it off their chests and hold the phone away from your ear, saying mmmm occasionally so they think you are listening .. :evillaugh: :rofl: And you go right ahead and move into that flat because you can make it work!!! (where's the rah rah emoticon when you need one!!?)
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:) It makes it twice as hard when the people that are supposed to help you seem to hold you back eh. I just want a normal life again. Thanks guys, il let you know how it goes.
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Great news ;D
I agree re lots of scratch posts. Different heights, maybe a horizontal one if they like to scratch that way. Trim their claws to minimise any damage. You can get double sided sticky tape (called sticky paws) specially designed to stick on furniture to deter scratching. Might be worth getting some of those to put on the side of the sofa etc to begin with so that if they do take a fancy to it, they will soon decide it's not much fun. Covered litter trays are great and if you find a good litter and clean the tray regularly, there should be no smell.
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>:( Its not just my parents saying that i shouldnt have them in the flat. I am so confused. I just dont want to upset the other 2 girls. What if i want to go somewhere in the future? Are catteries very expensve.
I so want to take them. But i guess i need to be practical :(
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give it a go, it may turn out better than you all expect. I suppose your parents are trying to help in their own way but they can be a pain and put doubts in your head. You make the decision and hopefully things will work out. If not then will be the time for a rethink. Best of luck to you and your cats
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What if i want to go somewhere in the future? Are catteries very expensive.
If anyone that has a cat wants to go anywhere they have that issue; it's not an insurmountable one! I think the people that are being negative aren't helping you at all. It's a difficult enough situation ending a relationship. I think the trial run you mentioned sounds a good idea; see if everyone's happy before you decide.
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I would say to you to give it a go. Is buying somewhere of your own not an option?? then you don't have to worry about landlords, etc
At least if you give it a go then you know you have tried. Don't let your parents, etc put you down or put you off. I have family who rent in the edinburgh area in a shared flat and still have their cat. They opt to keep all his bits and pieces in their room.
Don't give up keep at it and as I said before if you need our help just shout! :hug:
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I actually got Chilli whilst in shared accomodation, a huge mansion house with about 13 of us in there! There were already two other cats each with different slaves. Everybody else in the house was completely fine with the cats and most really liked them, Chilli was a huge hit, everyone who came to visit would walk in, pick her up and sit down for a cuddle, consequently she is the best socialised cat ever! Partly why she went missing I think, she's rather fond of wandering into open doors, whether she knows who is behind it or not.
Give it a go, as others have said, when you take on any animals there are always sacrifices to be made, maybe you just won't go on holiday so often. From the sounds of things money will be tight for a while anyway so not a problem you have to deal with yet ;D Always a positive where there's a negative ;)
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A friend of mine wasn't allowed pets in her rented flat. But she got on well with the landlord, and asked to write a contract between them two, that any damage caused by pets would be paid for by her. The landlord was fine with this.
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Oh yes- give it a go. Uncle M spent years with me in a succession of shared houses before I settled down with OH and he loved it! Even when he was ancient and grey he wanted to party every night given half a chance. I'm sure it will work out for you and sucks to your parents I say!
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Well the 3rd girl has indicated by text that she is fine with the cats, so looks like its all go!
Buying isnt an option really. Doubt i would get a mortage in this day and age. :P
Is having the litter trays in my bedroom a bad option do you think? As i say its a huge flat but i dont want to put the trays in the way of the others. The bathroom is too small (i usually put them in the bathroom). The hall is huge....i would probably put a mat down under them, or paper or something. I guess i would need to ask the others if they mind them in the hall. I dont mind them in my bedroom if thats the only option, but id rather not.
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It might be a good idea to sit down with your flatmates at the beginning and have a little chat (and guage their reactions to your cats living with you). Explain that a few things will be trial and error to get right so would they please let you know if there are any problems rather than go to the landlord/agency or just bite their tongue but moan when you're not around. If you can get them on side at the start, things have a better chance of working out for you.
re the litter tray - I have an enclosed litter tray in the living room. It doesn't smell at all. Your bedroom is probably a good place to have a tray because that is your space and therefore your cats' space too. If you ever have to confine them to one room for any reason (eg workmen coming) that would be the logical room so good to have a tray in there.
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I have an enclosed litter tray using cats best OKO litter in my bedroom and it really doesn't smell at all. ;) (and the smell of litter tray's was one of the things that put me off having cats for years :shy: :innocent:)
I hope it goes well, i'm sure the cats and flatmates will adjust really well. :) Slightly different but i had to move back in with my mum along with my two dogs, and she is NOT a doggy person, within a few weeks she was inviting them up to her bedroom for cuddles in the morning. :evillaugh: :Luv2: